The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.
These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.
Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U
Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’ A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.
These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.
Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U
Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’ A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
A girl who loves to daydream. currently studying at SMK Seafield. Archieholic. Born on 19th February. Mixture of Aquarius and/or Pisces.
Loves my friends that stick by me through thick and thin, my family and everyone out there...
Dreams to go to the Louvre museum, Espana, and maybe travel round the world?? Oh, and meet David Archuleta in person..
My ambitions are.. to be a doctor. But if I can, I'd love to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. Have to work really hard for that.
sounds impossible.. but i might achieve it.. there's always a chance and time for everything.
I would love to have new friends as it is always nice to have friends.. so.. leave a word on my tagboard please.. :)
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.
-Leonardo da Vinci
"Don't ever let yourself believe that the role you play in the lives of other's is not an important one, especially in the lives of the ones you love and who love you. No matter how big or small that role is, or may seem, it's a very important one, and it is one that only you can play." Don't underestimate yourself. Someone out there may need you. -David Archuleta
Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
Mother Teresa
Every time you see someone in distress, you have the opportunity to work as a team with Heaven's angels. You become the channel for your angels to provide loving care to those in need.-Doreen Virtue
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
- Groucho Marx
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
-- Albert Einstein
缘分是本书，翻的不经意，会错过细节，读的太过认真，又会流干眼泪。
I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.
Emily Bronte
Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens
Hilarious School Exam Answers -speedywap xD
